Bakura's Letter To Flamers
by LeoOsaka Bakura's stalker
Summary: Flamers Beware Bakura's got something he's like to say to you so if you're looking for something to Flame here's your chance.
1. Bakura's Letter

**Bakura's Letter to Flamers**

Dear Flamers,

It is I, the great Bakura, the creeper of the shadows and master of darkness. Yet I find my self truly disturbed by some of the actions being taken by you mortals against one another, and here I will explain my issue.

Flaming has become a great problem, and people seem to do nothing about it, or they take to fighting back and causing a verbal war. First and foremost I would like to say those of you who pointlessly flame people probably suck serious artistic ass of every kind. Until you can prove you're better than everyone else, then I request you shut up and continue to read what I have to say from here on out.

Suppose someone is not as great a writer as you, or perhaps you think that you're better and you find it amusing to brag… Well neither situation gives you the right to tell them they suck. If you cannot do any better than you have no right to say anything anyways. It's pathetic, and makes you look like a jealous numbnut. That's ESPECIALLY true if you flame anonymously. I find it amusing that you can give it but can't take it in return. If you are better then they are, obviously by your own standards then either say nothing or give then HELPFUL comments.

Now to the issue I shall have the most fun with. Cannon versus Fannon. Okay people, reality check, chances are that unless you're rewriting the WHOLE fricking story, it's GOING to be 'fannon'. That's why we call it FAN fiction. Get it? Making some sense? I know some of you Flaming morons think a story HAS to go one way no matter who writes it or what they like, however, dear obnoxious dipshit, it would be awfully boring if EVERY story were the same. Besides last I checked no one in my damn fandom has EVER officially hooked up. There fore ANY pairings would go against cannon. So bitch about something else.

Which brings me to another topic, pairings. Since it is the author's discretion on what they write, and it's technically not going to harm you in any way. If they want to have a Yuugioh-tastic orgy of the gods, then so be it. It's their choice. Granted there are many people who despise Yaoi, and those who won't read Het, that doesn't change the fact that there ARE people who enjoy each. If you KNOW what you're reading (thanks to the lovely insertion of a thing call WARNINGS) then don't comment if all you're going to spew is crap. I'd rather see you strapped to a tree and flogged with a broom by rabid authors than have to read the bullshit reviews some of you tend to leave.

I mean seriously people, if someone wants to read about giant robots totally getting it on, then that's their problem. As unlikely as it is, you really have no right to tell them they're wrong to like it. You're not God (of any religion) only I am.

A hint to some of you authors who have experienced the 'zOMG it's Yaoi EWWWW' reviews, I suggest you put a HUGE warning in caps on your opening chapter. And then if they start shit you can then attack them with your virtual golf club.

Also, if you don't like OCs then stick it up your ass and limp away because most authors will warn you if they're adding an OC that has a major part. OCs are NOT evil. They're original. They require MORE thought process (granted I am the greatest and no OC could ever beat me and my pwnsomeness). Don't automatically deem OCs as 'Mary Sues' either. How the hell would you feel if your name really WAS Mary Sue? That would suck in my opinion. But just because the character is original doesn't mean it's a PERFECT character…Only I am perfect. Not to mention, some people like Sues.

Now moving on to the subject of OOCness. If an author wants me to be out of character than so be it. If they want to me dance naked in Wal-mart singing the Barney theme and drinking espresso let them but don't bitch, after all, YOU wasted YOUR time to READ a story that you could have stopped if it bothered you. Besides, how would YOU know what we characters act like when we're say, in love, or emotionally unstable? Unless you've seen it from us, then it's open to ANYONE'S interpretation, not just yours.

It's also one thing to start crap on the author. Don't EVER attack an author for their beliefs and what not. You don't know them, you probably never will, and you're a judgmental ass if you do. It's just pathetic if you feel that low that you must raise yourself up by throwing others down.

Newsflash, a great majority of people, more so the senior writers, only laugh at flames. If you have an attitude then don't click the review button, the author doesn't need a high review count so bad that they would be willing to open their arms to your…well I can't really call it a review can I? Hmm…how about virtual shit smeared on a virtual paper called the review board.

So alas, I believe I've said mostly what I sent out to say, however I do have one more paragraph to close with…

My point is you Flamers suck, and most of you shouldn't be allowed to type and the ones who do MOST of the time think 'u' is a real word. And personally I expect impressive flames when I see them. Mainly because if I'm going to have to read someone's shit for an attitude then it had better amuse me and be worthy of toasting my virtual marshmallows. You can't toast a marshmallow on a candle flame, people. I prefer no flame or a roaring fire, choose your pick.

And I believe that closes my letter. I request any one who has a problem to FLAME away! I will take it if it will keep you away from the others who don't deserve it. Because quite frankly I happen to like my marshmallows cooked brown. If you're itching to flame, lets see if you're GOOD enough to impress me.

Signing away,

Stealer of Souls,

Bakura.

XxX

_Leo: Now this was originally going to be typed as Sephiroth since he's good with long monologues however Bakura is my main muse and therefore I decided to type this from him. The basic point of this is, is that I am tired of people flaming people due to a situation on DeviantArt I made a picture that went something along this line. However I also realized that this is a big problem on FFN too. I know I probably didn't touch base on everything I could have but Bakura spoke the important parts. If you're one of the ones Bakura was talking to, then Flame me. I DARE YOU._


	2. Yay for Flames

**Yay for Flames**

Yes, it's been a while. But I thought I'd finally take the time to give a perfect example of what a flaming ass looks like! Despite my long and drawn out letter telling them to shut the fuck up. It's so nice that people provide me examples! Stupid mortals! Enjoy the following flame:

_

* * *

"Kindly stop using Takahashi's characters as your mouthpiece in a cheap way to get around the rules. If you have something like this to say, then open a forum and say it there. _

You can tag Bakura's name on it from now til doomsday and it won't change the fact this is you spilling this garbage.

You know something? All the really good writers of this site would tell you to take your comments and shove them up your ass, because they know how to actually take criticism and strive to get better at what they're doing. They don't think every single comment that tells them they've errored somewhere is a slight to their sacred and holy words. They might not agree but they don't whine about it like the bad writers do.

I have yet to see a Mary Sue that actually had thought put into it beyond "Which extra Millennium Item does she have?" and "Should she have dated Yami, Seth, or Akefia in Ancient Egypt, or perhaps all three at the same time?"

Some people don't like Sues: and they have every right to bitch about them.

We have seen their characters from them: in the manga and the anime. This is just a cheap excuse to write badly and not get told you suck.

You are not Bakura. Because Bakura...would not CARE!"

"Kindly stop using Takahashi's characters as your mouthpiece in a cheap way to get around the rules. If you have something like this to say, then open a forum and say it there. 

"Kindly stop using Takahashi's characters as your mouthpiece in a cheap way to get around the rules. If you have something like this to say, then open a forum and say it there.

* * *

Mouth piece? How rude. You must think highly of yourself to talk to the Great Bakura in such a manner. Are you upset because you're one of these flamers and I merely called you on it? I've broken no rules seeing as how I'm a fictitious character speaking in light of all the authors who use me in which ever way they please.

I tagged my name on it bitch. Or don't you understand the concept of roleplaying and FANfiction?

So, in otherwords you're telling everyone else who reviewed in agreement that they are bad writers. I suppose that you're a professional novelist then? Or maybe...you're a self righteous dipshit with a closed mind, and a need to incriminate yourself.

After all, my name, past or present was never and will never be "Akefia." Yami Yugi's name is 'Atemu' not simply 'Yami', and Priest Seto is not 'Seth'. Those my friend, and gross fan misinterpretations which incriminate you to the point that your argument against me is practically void. You come typing your plain words like the mortal you are when you do not even aquire the knowledge to compete with me. If you dont like Mary Sues, then stop using the terminology that accompany them. Because you only look more foolish than before. ...Tch, Akefia...BAH! N00b.

A Mary Sue is the author's choice. They don't have to be 'good'. They don't have to meet your standards. You are not important to any of the authors whose story you read and dislike. They are writing to release their imagination and people like you want them to hold that back on their hard drives. What makes you more worthy? How about this, you hold back all of your creative writing and never share it. You won't do that will you? They shouldn't have to either.

Perhaps you should actually READ more of the fanfiction you claim you have read. Do you actually know the difference between "you suck" and "You could use some work in this area?" Do you even recognize that one is not a flame and one is? Do you know which one? Are you sure? Because you just contradicted yourself when you say to "constructive critique them", and then turn around and call other people's works not up to par with your standard. Like my letter for example.

Some people don't like Mary Sues: They **don't **have the right to FLAME about it. Flame all they want on their own damn time and their own damn stories, but click the back button other wise. No one likes uninteligable bitching.

Ignorant peasant, you know nothing about me (clearly since you address me as Akefia). Who are you to enstate laws on how I should be? Bah. The only person who has that power is my original creator (and he doesn't pay enough attention to me anyway.) Are you mad because my grammatical skills are better than yours? And with a shitty keyboard no less!

When I asked for a real flame, I wanted something of...higher quality. I'm not cheap, in fact, I'm very expensive. I only steal the best and piss of the most famous (I'm looking at you Pharaoh). This...is childish babbling aimed to offend when it only made me cackle. SO much in fact, I laughed, forgot about it for a long ass time, and finally decided to amuse myself by voiding off your whole argument...Which I believe I have. Since you can't seem to keep yourself from sounding like an opinionated bastard who doesn't feel that other people are deserving of producing the things they like.

I am Bakura. And you're right, I don't care.

I just like pissing off losers like you!

**P.S. Next time, grow some balls and sign in when you flame. Lame ass.**

Love, The Great Bakura.

* * *

_Leo: Yes, this is a real flame, achieved in the writing of Bakura's letter. Yes I am aware I am not Bakura. Yes, I am aware that I used him as a way to get my point across, however I think of that as creative use of characters. Many agreed with what Bakura said. Everyone has the right to go about their own hobbies without being crucified for it. Because I happen to be a radical in the ideas of free creativity for all, I don't think I can stand by and watch as no one makes any effort at all. I do not think I am an exceptional writer, but I do not think that stating feelings that are shared by many makes me a 'bad' writer. I am not complaining_ _because I have been flamed. I'm complaining because I see it too much. I HAVE been flamed...but I can take it and I enjoy shoving it back in people's faces. However I don't like seeing it done on people who don't deserve it._

_For those of you who agree, you show me that you appreciate people and their creativity. You are true, down to earth people and I appreciate your very existence! Keep being real guys! Flamers get their kicks out of those who back down and let them have their way!_

**_Thank you for reading! _**


End file.
